you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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