At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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