do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
