is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
