His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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