I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
