great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We don't watch enough power rangers
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
