Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You've changed since you got that strap on
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
