you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
sex in a hospital.. check
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
