hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
