What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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