also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
