Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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