Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize