I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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