do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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