I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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