he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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