I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
