I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
