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I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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