if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
