Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
