Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
