So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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