I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize