I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
50% drunk capacity currently
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
