i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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