i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
