im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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