Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
