Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
