that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
