Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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