I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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