she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Someone shit on the floor
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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