Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
