I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
