im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize