you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
