My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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