We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
