he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
