so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I touched a dick in church today
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
