Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
whose ass print is on the piano?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
