your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
