well I can't set my house on fire every night
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
