hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
