i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
