If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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