He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She told me I should be a condom model.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i out mim tonsoeep
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