i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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