Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize