I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
