youre lurking in front of me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
