Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
