It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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