He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
