Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
