i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
