guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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