The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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