That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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