you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
